It’s Scary, Taking Off All My Clothes

There are many good things about being single at a later age.

Theoretically, those of us in this position are more self-aware, financially stable, and mature, allowing us the ability to approach adult relationships with more compassion and willingness to compromise.

Theoretically.



Now Playing: Naked by Savannah Metz


What I have found, unfortunately– especially in this time of social media, instant gratification, and seemingly endless options (for the fuckboys, at least)– is how much harder it is for women in my position to remain optimistic, hopeful; instead, becoming increasingly jaded and irrevocably cynical about ever finding anyone who won’t screw them over, ghost them, keep side chicks behind your back, or bolt at the first sign of adversity, unwilling to put up a fight for you because of all the other women who have screwed them over in the past, rendering them jaded as well.

And let me just stop you before I start with the “how’s anyone supposed to deal?” rant and the “that’s why it’s best when you’re not looking for it” responses start rolling in, because you are probably happy married, dating, or engaged, and God bless your heart, sending encouragement to make us both feel better. Pa cute, talaga. I have already started planting seeds in my parents’ minds that I will never get married, more so from the standpoint of praising them how much money they will save by not having to pitch in for the festivities, asking them to take care of my dogs from time to time because those are the only grandkids they will ever have…

…doesn’t always sit too well with them. And when I say always, I mean never and it usually ends up in either side leaving someone’s house.

Am I embittered? Maybe, but this is just what comes with this scenario. You want mac and cheese? It comes with cheese. You shouldn’t be surprised about that. You shouldn’t be surprised about this either.

But similarly, with the aforementioned self awareness comes an understanding of what it might look like when it’s finally my turn, and also the understanding that anyone worth his salt is in for a challenge, wearing down the callous that has formed around my heart these last fifteen or so years of getting my heart broken. For whomever you may be, good sir, I wholeheartedly wish you the Godspeed and the best of luck.

You’re gonna need it.


Open your heart
Let me in
Let your guard down
Wear your words on your skin
That’s what he said
I just find it so hard
I really do trust him
But there’s pain in my heart

For so long
I’ve been trying to hide
What I have got inside
How the tears leave me dry
And so I’m breaking, I’m breaking my walls
I’ll be bearing’ my soul
And I’ll be naked, naked, naked
Naked for you

Sometimes I put my walls up
Choose not to speak
‘Cause if you saw me break down
Would you think I was weak
Mmm maybe I’m scared of being vulnerable
I choose to be alone soldier
So you don’t see me fall

For so long
I’ve been trying to hide
What I have got inside
How the tears leave me dry
Woah I
And so I’m breaking, I’m breaking my walls
I’ll be bearing my soul
And I’ll be naked, naked, naked
Naked for you

I dry away my own tears, play pretend with my fears
Oooh (You stand with your head down)
And I still won’t let you in
If I trust you won’t hurt me why would I give you more
There’s a world outside my mind
But I just gotta open the door
Woahh

(For so long
I’ve been trying to hide
What I have got inside
How the tears leave me dry
And so I’m breaking, I’m breaking my walls
I’ll be bearing’ my soul
And I’ll be naked, naked, naked
Naked for you)

I’ll be naked, naked, naked
Naked for you