A few months ago, my friends at work told me about this website called New for the Night, where you can rent fabulous dresses for fabulous events at equally fabulous prices (for example: you can rent a $500 Rebecca Minkoff LBD for $80). You get the dress for three days, people are like, “OMG you look so great in that designer dress,” and then they never see you wear it again because presumably you’re a big baller who’s got it like that. Win/win situation, right?
That’s what I thought at first.
A few days after my friends told me about it, LivingSocial was hosting a $50 for $125 towards a dress rental deal, which I immediately snatched up because I thought it was a sign from above. With four weddings lined up for the last quarter of 2012, I was definitely going to be under the microscope and had to look amazing.
Like all LivingSocial/Groupon/Google Offer deals, I quickly forgot that I had purchased it altogether– that is, until I received a notification that my New for the Night deal was expiring today. “No worries,” I thought to myself. “With Tracy’s wedding at the end of the month and the church’s annual banquet at the beginning of December, it’s not going to be hard to figure out what event to use this for.”
One thing I always forget about high fashion designer clothing is– all the fancy designers don’t make clothing for fat people. This is the truth. Have you ever seen someone with more to love sauntering down the runway? Do you see curvy girls in those sexy clothing ads? No. Because every single girl in every single ad is stick-thin with her mouth hanging wide open, kind of like she’s on an antihistamine because her nose is stuffy, or maybe because she’s so hungry. Who knows.
What I DO know is that once I clicked on the “All Apparel” tab and refined my search to display dresses in my size, only nine results showed up… and SIX of them were MATERNITY DRESSES.
I refreshed my browser and cleared my cache several times, I couldn’t believe it.
MATERNITY DRESSES as 2/3 of my options! Unfreakingbelievable. It’s like I was being told, “Mainstream fashion doesn’t recognize someone your size… and if you are indeed this size, then surely you are pregnant. Surely you are actually two people enclosed in one body, because by our standards no one person can be as large as you.”
I did choose one of the three non-maternity dresses, but freaking A did I do so with remorse, shaking my head incredulously the entire time. And if you think about it, it’s not New for the Night’s fault that designers don’t like making high-end evening wear for fat people. It really isn’t. Despite the initial shock and what’s sure to be months of trauma, I’m super excited about my upcoming rental from them and glad that I did find something that will hopefully look just as good on me as it does the 6’0" blonde chick on the website who I’m sure hasn’t had a carb since Y2K. I’ll be sure to follow up with an update after the Christmas banquet and let y’all decide.
But do all you other curvy gals feel me when I say, “Where’s the effing dress rental site for us?”